Last week, my husband was out of town. I actually enjoy this time for one silly reason: I love to fall asleep with the television on. This might seem to be a fairly inane and silly "treat" when left to my own devices, but it is one that has become a delicious and decadent pleasure. When I am by myself, I actually love to put on my pyjamas (yes, P.J.s not a night gown but the standard button up the front, flannel and long-sleeved version!) and cuddle in bed and watch anything that is no longer than thirty minutes, without anything deep or world shattering in the plot line, sans political over or under tones, and boisterously silly and totally meaningless. In other words, I watch network television - which during a normal day is banned from the household.
The only problem with this divine practice is that I often wake in the middle of the night to find late night programming. Some of it is a repeat of earlier broadcasts - i.e., the Tonight Show, the Ten O'Clock News, etc. However, this past week, I consistently awoke to the sounds of Oprah. This is an afternoon show that I rarely see as I am always out of the house during that air time. On the first night, I found myself aroused by the sounds of a gentleman who described the reorganization of a chosen family. He went into great detail of how they became "unplugged" and "plugged into" each other. Their home was cleaned, revamped, and re-created in the image of a unified family. Dinners were planned, meetings canceled, game nights established, and the list went on and on and on..... And from that point on I was wide awake and trying to mentally make a game plan for the re-organization of my life! Because Oprah was aired at 1:30 a.m. to 2:30 a.m. and I normally arise at 4:30 a.m., I had little sleep that night. It took a great deal of effort to mentally rearrange 58 years of total havoc!
The following evening, so ready for bed, and actually tired from the lack of sleep from the previous evening, I again tuned into to my sit-com comma inducing television and as predicted, fell asleep within the first thirty seconds of the first show. Again, at 1:30 a.m. I awoke to "Here's Oprah!" .... and the crowd going wild! That evening, I learned how to do a fashion make over and how to make my wardrobe be the most that it could be for my age decade. I got the list of "what I needed, to have the perfect wardrobe for any occasion". At the end of the hour, I was already planning on the "gutting" of my closet and finding what I did and did not have. A shopping day was also planned.
By day three, totally exhausted by lack of sleep, I again dove into bed and became immediately comatose. Again, Oprah brought me a new book and the realization that I needed to work on my Love Life -- and keep my husband interested! I fretfully awaited the morning light so that I could call him in Guatamala and ask him if I was fulfilling his expectations of me as a wife. After much confusion on his part (I had awakened him -- just imagine, he slept until 6:00 a.m.!), he told me all was well and went back to sleep.
What an exhausting week I had. Between daily "to do lists" gleened from my late night adventures, I was mentally and physically wasted by the time my husband returned from his five day business trip. I was so glad to have him back so that I would not turn on the television and could sleep the entire night.
Who says that late night television can't be exciting! I am praying for a re-scheduling of the line up before my next "bachelorette" week!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Paying if Forward
For the past three days, I have been helping a friend in need. She lives by herself and needed to have shoulder surgery. Because you cannot have this surgery without a designated "friend" during surgery as well as a driver both to and from the hospital, I gladly agreed to be that person for her. This has been an interesting association for me as I was not a particularly close friend prior to this time. I always loved seeing her and "bantering" with her over our differing political views. We shared a love of exercise -- we met at the health club. We found an intellectual compatibility - I mention this because she is a professor at a local university and this sort of relationship is key for her. But aside from a few casual lunches, telephone calls, e-mails and conversational exchanges, we did not share a great deal of history.
However, after these three days, I feel as if I have made a new friend. I think that when one provides aid to someone in need, a certain bond is established. One gives up a bit of their own day (that 24 hours that we so zealously hoard!) and focuses on someone other than themself. I was actually surprised to find such an ease in conversation, a level of comfort in living through the moments of silence we experienced while awaiting the surgeon, and finally a sense of calm when all was finished and the surgery was over. I realized a level of patience that I rarely possess. Rather than mentally racing through the "lists of things I should be doing", I focused on my surroundings and appreciated the moment. I read a facinating book, listened to conversations that erupted around me as each new family came to the waiting room during their "loved one's" surgery, and relished in the fact that I had the time to be this kind of friend. My retirement from active employment out of the home has left me with this ability. I do have the time to do things for others in a calm and unfrenzied manner. And I like it!
I guess that is what paying it forward is all about!
However, after these three days, I feel as if I have made a new friend. I think that when one provides aid to someone in need, a certain bond is established. One gives up a bit of their own day (that 24 hours that we so zealously hoard!) and focuses on someone other than themself. I was actually surprised to find such an ease in conversation, a level of comfort in living through the moments of silence we experienced while awaiting the surgeon, and finally a sense of calm when all was finished and the surgery was over. I realized a level of patience that I rarely possess. Rather than mentally racing through the "lists of things I should be doing", I focused on my surroundings and appreciated the moment. I read a facinating book, listened to conversations that erupted around me as each new family came to the waiting room during their "loved one's" surgery, and relished in the fact that I had the time to be this kind of friend. My retirement from active employment out of the home has left me with this ability. I do have the time to do things for others in a calm and unfrenzied manner. And I like it!
I guess that is what paying it forward is all about!
Monday, January 11, 2010
I was Humbled today
This morning began like so many Monday mornings. I awoke, did the eliptical machine while watching the Fox & Friends Morning Show, ate, showered, and went on the Monday morning step class at the gym. I arrived to find the instructor talking to someone in the rear of the room. Upon second glance, I realized that the person was someone I knew. Her name is Shannon and she is blind. She is a member of a Power Class (weight lifting class) that I attend occasionally on Monday and Wednesday afternoons.
I watched the instructor explain some of the steps that would be cued during the class and listened while she explained about the equipment -- i.e., the step. Shannon had her mother with her and her mother was listening so that she might be a good "guide" for her daughter. As the music began, I watched as Shannon listened and did what she was cued to do. When there was a doubt, her mother would give her more detailed instruction. For one hour, I watched and became so humbled by the determination and bravery of this wonderful person.
I only knew her as a woman that came to class with her guide dog, Brewster. I found her charming and so kind. There was always a smile on her face and in the midst of any class, her humor carried us all through the steps of lifting our weights!
Now I watched her take on the new challenge of the Step Class. I watched her struggle to listen, understand, assimilate, and execute what some people would never even try for fear of failure. I watched her take direction so easily and willingly. She never showed her frustration (if indeed she had any at all). She patiently went through the steps that she could and when she left class, smiling and laughing with her mother, told us all that she would see us again!
I learned that she is a wife, mother, and a working attorney. I always knew that she was a woman of great strength and now appreciated the depth of her accomplishments.
I took a moment to thank God for all the blessings that I have in my life. I have the ability to see, hear, feel, taste, and smell. I can awake each morning and carry out my day without the need of assistance -- either physical or mental. I have the ability to go where I want, when I want, and to share the world with all whom I love. I was overwhelmed that I had never taken a moment to appreciate the gifts of living.
This inspired me to want to "think outside my box" -- to reach for something that I might think impossible. I would love to leave the legacy to my children that there was nothing that I wouldn't try. I want to stop putting artificial boundaries on my thoughts and actions and try instead to approach each new subject as a "why not" rather than a "why".
I will, yet again, thank God everyday that I can walk and move without pain -- and without undue restriction. I remembered where I was one year ago and smile as I run up the stairs and dance through a zumba class. I am one lucky person and I do appreciate this gift.
I was humbled today. I will not forget this lesson.
I watched the instructor explain some of the steps that would be cued during the class and listened while she explained about the equipment -- i.e., the step. Shannon had her mother with her and her mother was listening so that she might be a good "guide" for her daughter. As the music began, I watched as Shannon listened and did what she was cued to do. When there was a doubt, her mother would give her more detailed instruction. For one hour, I watched and became so humbled by the determination and bravery of this wonderful person.
I only knew her as a woman that came to class with her guide dog, Brewster. I found her charming and so kind. There was always a smile on her face and in the midst of any class, her humor carried us all through the steps of lifting our weights!
Now I watched her take on the new challenge of the Step Class. I watched her struggle to listen, understand, assimilate, and execute what some people would never even try for fear of failure. I watched her take direction so easily and willingly. She never showed her frustration (if indeed she had any at all). She patiently went through the steps that she could and when she left class, smiling and laughing with her mother, told us all that she would see us again!
I learned that she is a wife, mother, and a working attorney. I always knew that she was a woman of great strength and now appreciated the depth of her accomplishments.
I took a moment to thank God for all the blessings that I have in my life. I have the ability to see, hear, feel, taste, and smell. I can awake each morning and carry out my day without the need of assistance -- either physical or mental. I have the ability to go where I want, when I want, and to share the world with all whom I love. I was overwhelmed that I had never taken a moment to appreciate the gifts of living.
This inspired me to want to "think outside my box" -- to reach for something that I might think impossible. I would love to leave the legacy to my children that there was nothing that I wouldn't try. I want to stop putting artificial boundaries on my thoughts and actions and try instead to approach each new subject as a "why not" rather than a "why".
I will, yet again, thank God everyday that I can walk and move without pain -- and without undue restriction. I remembered where I was one year ago and smile as I run up the stairs and dance through a zumba class. I am one lucky person and I do appreciate this gift.
I was humbled today. I will not forget this lesson.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
I felt connected
Today I attended the eightieth birthday party of a woman who is in my luncheon club. She is someone who laughs with everyone, tells the funniest of jokes, is so "with it" in terms of her knowledge of the day to day and makes everyone around her feel as ageless as she feels. I must admit, I was utterly shocked that we were celebrating her 80th birthday as I am still remembering the celebration of my mother's eightieth birthday two years ago. Somehow, the fact that I am "friends" in a peer-like situation with someone who is my mother's age is shocking to me. I have such an easy relationship with this friend-- something that I do not have with my own mother. I know that is something of the norm, but I don't even have the same sense of perspective when I think of these two indidviduals. I guess one will always look at their mother as someone whose age is a distant reality and one unique to them.
Maybe, not knowing my friend's age has been the reason that I was able to "be myself" and treat her like a friend as opposed to an "elder". Was I brash and disrespectful? I think not. I merely treated her the way I would anyone I met. It is a situation that gives me pause.
When I enter a new situation, I am a person who begins a conversation immediately, with anyone who will listen. I do not look for "like" people -- as I don't know who is "like" me when I enter a room. I just look for a friendly face and a look of interest. I then begin to share emotions and information. I realize that I am a person with few secrets. I don't like to hide my life as I find that when I do, I always end up "misfiring information" -- that is to say, I share the wrong things at the wrong moment. I always like to be up front and let the world in. It makes any situation, good or bad, so much easier to assimilate or to tolerate (as the case may be). All that said, I do not look for ages of people when Ienter into a new situation. Merely a commonality in interest or in situation.
When I go to exercise classes, I have several "acquaintances" that I would refer to as my "exercise friends". They, invariably, are much younger than I as I am among the oldest in any of my classes. I actually don't think of them in terms of years --- that is until I bring in pictures of my grandson and share them with the other "mothers" who have children his age!
So, as I think of my lunch, I realize that my friend is actually very much like me in that she is ageless in her friendships as I am in mine. And in just a few years, I will be celebrating my 80th with a group of people who will be the ages of my children!
Time does march on and as it does, the more I realize how much the same people are -- at any age. Just people who enjoy living, laughing, and loving. At the end of any day, that is what is really important. It is at times such as these, that I realize the importance of grasping each and every moment to savor the rich and exciting parts of life. It will keep you young at heart -- and in spirit. That is what makes a person whole and the vibrant element of each day.
Maybe, not knowing my friend's age has been the reason that I was able to "be myself" and treat her like a friend as opposed to an "elder". Was I brash and disrespectful? I think not. I merely treated her the way I would anyone I met. It is a situation that gives me pause.
When I enter a new situation, I am a person who begins a conversation immediately, with anyone who will listen. I do not look for "like" people -- as I don't know who is "like" me when I enter a room. I just look for a friendly face and a look of interest. I then begin to share emotions and information. I realize that I am a person with few secrets. I don't like to hide my life as I find that when I do, I always end up "misfiring information" -- that is to say, I share the wrong things at the wrong moment. I always like to be up front and let the world in. It makes any situation, good or bad, so much easier to assimilate or to tolerate (as the case may be). All that said, I do not look for ages of people when Ienter into a new situation. Merely a commonality in interest or in situation.
When I go to exercise classes, I have several "acquaintances" that I would refer to as my "exercise friends". They, invariably, are much younger than I as I am among the oldest in any of my classes. I actually don't think of them in terms of years --- that is until I bring in pictures of my grandson and share them with the other "mothers" who have children his age!
So, as I think of my lunch, I realize that my friend is actually very much like me in that she is ageless in her friendships as I am in mine. And in just a few years, I will be celebrating my 80th with a group of people who will be the ages of my children!
Time does march on and as it does, the more I realize how much the same people are -- at any age. Just people who enjoy living, laughing, and loving. At the end of any day, that is what is really important. It is at times such as these, that I realize the importance of grasping each and every moment to savor the rich and exciting parts of life. It will keep you young at heart -- and in spirit. That is what makes a person whole and the vibrant element of each day.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
It is never too late to tell someone how you feel
Today I wrote to my cousin. Her brother had died last July and I had never written to send her my condolenscences. When she sent her Christmas card, there was a note attached which told me of the death of her brother and she wanted to make sure that I had heard the news.
I was so distressed for I had heard and not taken the time to just jot a note or to cry with her for this loss. I thought about putting this in my "remember to never do this again" file but realized that I needed to write and share with her my sorrow over her loss. It did not matter that the note was six months late.
It was a letter that was easy to write for I have lived her loss, as I lost my brother, her cousin, five years ago. I understood the loss she felt as a sister who loses her brother. It is such a different feeling than what one feels when a parent is lost. I don't know if nature somehow prepares us for the loss of a parent as someone who is older and faces death in a much more time sensitive manner. It might be that we expect to lose our parents as our parents lost their parents etc. etc. But, life doesn't prepare us for the loss of a sibling quite as well. I think that we always think of them as "being there" -- because they are the only people on this earth who actually share the same, or similar, history with you. They share your heritage and they share memories of houses, places, and funny experiences that no one outside of the "family" will ever share in quite the same way. A sibling can be angry or act like the biggest oaf on this earth. A sibling can be cruel and do things that are so contrary to everything that you know. You might not ever choose a sibling as a friend if they were not indeed your sibling. But when all else is said and done, a sibling is someone that understands where you came from and sometimes "where you are coming from" (in modern day vernacular). A loss of a sibling leaves a hole in your heart.
I feel so lucky that my four children are good siblings. I watch them share with the others and be there for each other in spite of differences of opinion, anger, hurt feelings, and all the other gambit of emotional bruising that one person can cause another. I love it when they "gang up against Mom and Dad" -- they show such a strong allegiance to each other. I love to hear them tease and laugh together. I also love it when they share each others pain and loss. As a mother, this is the greatest of all gifts and I am so blessed to have four of the most amazing children, one incredible son-in-law and a grandson who is the light in my day.
It is never too late to let the world know how you feel. Tell them often and loudly. Days come and go and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Make sure that all your todays are filled with sharing your heart with all those around you. You'll never have those kinds of regrets.
I was so distressed for I had heard and not taken the time to just jot a note or to cry with her for this loss. I thought about putting this in my "remember to never do this again" file but realized that I needed to write and share with her my sorrow over her loss. It did not matter that the note was six months late.
It was a letter that was easy to write for I have lived her loss, as I lost my brother, her cousin, five years ago. I understood the loss she felt as a sister who loses her brother. It is such a different feeling than what one feels when a parent is lost. I don't know if nature somehow prepares us for the loss of a parent as someone who is older and faces death in a much more time sensitive manner. It might be that we expect to lose our parents as our parents lost their parents etc. etc. But, life doesn't prepare us for the loss of a sibling quite as well. I think that we always think of them as "being there" -- because they are the only people on this earth who actually share the same, or similar, history with you. They share your heritage and they share memories of houses, places, and funny experiences that no one outside of the "family" will ever share in quite the same way. A sibling can be angry or act like the biggest oaf on this earth. A sibling can be cruel and do things that are so contrary to everything that you know. You might not ever choose a sibling as a friend if they were not indeed your sibling. But when all else is said and done, a sibling is someone that understands where you came from and sometimes "where you are coming from" (in modern day vernacular). A loss of a sibling leaves a hole in your heart.
I feel so lucky that my four children are good siblings. I watch them share with the others and be there for each other in spite of differences of opinion, anger, hurt feelings, and all the other gambit of emotional bruising that one person can cause another. I love it when they "gang up against Mom and Dad" -- they show such a strong allegiance to each other. I love to hear them tease and laugh together. I also love it when they share each others pain and loss. As a mother, this is the greatest of all gifts and I am so blessed to have four of the most amazing children, one incredible son-in-law and a grandson who is the light in my day.
It is never too late to let the world know how you feel. Tell them often and loudly. Days come and go and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Make sure that all your todays are filled with sharing your heart with all those around you. You'll never have those kinds of regrets.
Monday, January 4, 2010
It's a New Year
With every new year, I try to sit down and ponder all the things that I should change in my life. Resolutions are made and I wake up on each January 1st feeling that I have purpose. I make that list a priority and try to take it very seriously. But by the end of the first week, I predictably get involved in the day to day and forget even the most important of resolutions. By November any resolution I might have made is such a distant memory that I begin to think of them as new ideas for the new year! I think that this is human....or just me!
So this year, I decided to keep it simple. I would do one thing to improve my life and make a difference. I really thought and thought of just the one thing that I could do. The answer came to me while I was brushing my teeth. Actually, the answer was "brushing my teeth" -- not that I wasn't brushing my teeth, but I had opted not to have an electric toothbrush for years and decided that I could probably use one. So, on this most important of years, that of 2010, I am now going to brush my teeth with an electric toothbrush -- twice a day...at least!
Now I realize that this might seem insignificant, but when you think of it, this one small change might be just the catalyst that I need to effect larger more defining "tweeks" in my life. Just as a penny saved will eventually add to the dollars you put in savings, maybe a tooth brushed will lead to the invention of a new great convenience tool. Maybe while I am brushing my teeth I will think of something brilliant and become the next Thomas Edison. How did he figure out the light bulb anyway? Was he just sitting in the dark imagining what it would be like to read after the sun went down? Was he tired of the wind blowing out his candles? Was he exhausted after looking at life through a shadowed eye??? Maybe he was brushing his teeth in the dark and wanted to see what he was doing!
Small steps will lead to larger ones. So, for me the year of 2010 is all about brushing your teeth -- maybe flossing with greater gusto or whitening more frequently. Might not give me an academy award or the nobel peace prize, but at least I can have healthier teeth and gums. A beginning at the very least!
So this year, I decided to keep it simple. I would do one thing to improve my life and make a difference. I really thought and thought of just the one thing that I could do. The answer came to me while I was brushing my teeth. Actually, the answer was "brushing my teeth" -- not that I wasn't brushing my teeth, but I had opted not to have an electric toothbrush for years and decided that I could probably use one. So, on this most important of years, that of 2010, I am now going to brush my teeth with an electric toothbrush -- twice a day...at least!
Now I realize that this might seem insignificant, but when you think of it, this one small change might be just the catalyst that I need to effect larger more defining "tweeks" in my life. Just as a penny saved will eventually add to the dollars you put in savings, maybe a tooth brushed will lead to the invention of a new great convenience tool. Maybe while I am brushing my teeth I will think of something brilliant and become the next Thomas Edison. How did he figure out the light bulb anyway? Was he just sitting in the dark imagining what it would be like to read after the sun went down? Was he tired of the wind blowing out his candles? Was he exhausted after looking at life through a shadowed eye??? Maybe he was brushing his teeth in the dark and wanted to see what he was doing!
Small steps will lead to larger ones. So, for me the year of 2010 is all about brushing your teeth -- maybe flossing with greater gusto or whitening more frequently. Might not give me an academy award or the nobel peace prize, but at least I can have healthier teeth and gums. A beginning at the very least!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)