Paying if Forward

For the past three days, I have been helping a friend in need. She lives by herself and needed to have shoulder surgery. Because you cannot have this surgery without a designated "friend" during surgery as well as a driver both to and from the hospital, I gladly agreed to be that person for her. This has been an interesting association for me as I was not a particularly close friend prior to this time. I always loved seeing her and "bantering" with her over our differing political views. We shared a love of exercise -- we met at the health club. We found an intellectual compatibility - I mention this because she is a professor at a local university and this sort of relationship is key for her. But aside from a few casual lunches, telephone calls, e-mails and conversational exchanges, we did not share a great deal of history.

However, after these three days, I feel as if I have made a new friend. I think that when one provides aid to someone in need, a certain bond is established. One gives up a bit of their own day (that 24 hours that we so zealously hoard!) and focuses on someone other than themself. I was actually surprised to find such an ease in conversation, a level of comfort in living through the moments of silence we experienced while awaiting the surgeon, and finally a sense of calm when all was finished and the surgery was over. I realized a level of patience that I rarely possess. Rather than mentally racing through the "lists of things I should be doing", I focused on my surroundings and appreciated the moment. I read a facinating book, listened to conversations that erupted around me as each new family came to the waiting room during their "loved one's" surgery, and relished in the fact that I had the time to be this kind of friend. My retirement from active employment out of the home has left me with this ability. I do have the time to do things for others in a calm and unfrenzied manner. And I like it!

I guess that is what paying it forward is all about!