It is never too late to tell someone how you feel

Today I wrote to my cousin. Her brother had died last July and I had never written to send her my condolenscences. When she sent her Christmas card, there was a note attached which told me of the death of her brother and she wanted to make sure that I had heard the news.

I was so distressed for I had heard and not taken the time to just jot a note or to cry with her for this loss. I thought about putting this in my "remember to never do this again" file but realized that I needed to write and share with her my sorrow over her loss. It did not matter that the note was six months late.

It was a letter that was easy to write for I have lived her loss, as I lost my brother, her cousin, five years ago. I understood the loss she felt as a sister who loses her brother. It is such a different feeling than what one feels when a parent is lost. I don't know if nature somehow prepares us for the loss of a parent as someone who is older and faces death in a much more time sensitive manner. It might be that we expect to lose our parents as our parents lost their parents etc. etc. But, life doesn't prepare us for the loss of a sibling quite as well. I think that we always think of them as "being there" -- because they are the only people on this earth who actually share the same, or similar, history with you. They share your heritage and they share memories of houses, places, and funny experiences that no one outside of the "family" will ever share in quite the same way. A sibling can be angry or act like the biggest oaf on this earth. A sibling can be cruel and do things that are so contrary to everything that you know. You might not ever choose a sibling as a friend if they were not indeed your sibling. But when all else is said and done, a sibling is someone that understands where you came from and sometimes "where you are coming from" (in modern day vernacular). A loss of a sibling leaves a hole in your heart.

I feel so lucky that my four children are good siblings. I watch them share with the others and be there for each other in spite of differences of opinion, anger, hurt feelings, and all the other gambit of emotional bruising that one person can cause another. I love it when they "gang up against Mom and Dad" -- they show such a strong allegiance to each other. I love to hear them tease and laugh together. I also love it when they share each others pain and loss. As a mother, this is the greatest of all gifts and I am so blessed to have four of the most amazing children, one incredible son-in-law and a grandson who is the light in my day.

It is never too late to let the world know how you feel. Tell them often and loudly. Days come and go and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Make sure that all your todays are filled with sharing your heart with all those around you. You'll never have those kinds of regrets.